What Words Would You Live By?
May and June are months synonymous with graduation. It’s the time of year when morning shows and evening news are all playing snippets of commencement addresses by famous speakers. Drugstores are filled with inspirational cards. Personally, I love to hear other people’s “words to live by.”
In the past four years I have had the honor of attending three college graduations — one for each daughter. In 2012, I heard actor, Leonard Nimoy, the original Dr. Spock from Star Trek, convey the message of, “persistence, persistence, persistence” as he quoted John F. Kennedy who once told him about actors in the competitive field of show business, “There is always room for one more good one!” In 2013, I heard Max Mutchnick, co-creator of the show Will & Grace, advise graduates to be honest, authentic and “not forget who they are on the way to who they want to be.” This past weekend, I heard finance executive Mellody Hobson encourage USC graduates to “just add bravery” and push beyond boundaries.
The night of my daughter’s celebratory dinner, we all went around the table answering the question, “What would you speak about if you were giving a graduation speech?” Thinking back on what I wished someone had told me as I was entering this next chapter of life, I felt compelled to look up the commencement address Debbie delivered at JFK University, her alma mater, when she was awarded an honorary doctorate degree. Although I could not find the actual speech, I did find a newsletter she wrote about it. Here is how Debbie summarized her speech.
In addressing the graduates, I urged them to not play small, to not play it safe, to not heed the voice of doubt that says, “Be careful, or “It’s too late.” I called on them to take on a few potent, daily practices: to practice courage by speaking their truth even when they’re scared; to practice seeing life exactly as it is, without self-deception; to practice finding the gold in the dark, and – most importantly – to practice humility, which is really the practice of getting out of your own way, surrendering disempowering perceptions and beliefs, and allowing yourself to be quiet and listen beyond your ego, beyond your intellect. Being someone who loves polar opposites, I encouraged them to practice being arrogant enough to say what they want and humble enough to know they have no idea how to get there.
Standing at that podium, I saw that the message I most wanted to leave them with is the same one at the heart of each of my books and every lecture and training I lead – and that is to choose faith over fear – faith in yourself, faith in others, and faith in Life. It is so much harder to live an unexpressed life than to bask in your full potential. It takes no care or concern to withhold your gifts, but to live full throttle – to be a “ten” – takes passion, commitment, courage and faith.
As I walked away from my youngest daughter’s college graduation, it hit me that after 24 years I would no longer have a child in school. There would be no more school vacations, summer breaks, or “back to school” preparations. The structure, comfort, and familiarity of that routine which I actually set my clock by would no longer exist. Although my daughter was technically the graduate, it truly was a graduation and commencement for all of us.
The fact is that every moment is a “commencement.” Every moment is a chance to start anew, to redefine who we have known ourselves to be for who we can become, and to choose faith over fear.
As I boarded the plane to return home to Miami and leaving my daughter in Los Angeles to pursue her dream of being an actor, I texted her to let her know that I was available whenever she needed me and how much I loved her. Thankfully, my daughter had a very close relationship with and connection to Debbie. I had to smile as I read her reply to my text because even though she never read Debbie’s commencement speech, it was like she was channeling Debbie when she replied:
“I have and am figuring out my plan. And more importantly,
I have a lot of faith in myself and life!”
So once again, I thank you Debbie. Your commencement message lives on in my most important graduate — my daughter!
Transformational Action Steps
(1) Write out a list of the top ten pieces of advice you would give your inner graduate. Feel free to borrow from others. Look online and google “best commencement speeches” or “best graduation quotes” or tune into the nightly news to see what 2015 speeches and speakers they are featuring.
(2) To redefine who you have known yourself to be, join us for The Shadow Experience: Breaking Through to Emotional & Spiritual Freedom at the Omega Institute June 19th to June 21st. Learn more and register here.
