Shadow Work: A Trickster That Leads To The Greatest Treats!
A few weeks ago on Shadow Talk, our bi-weekly free group coaching call, we discussed “The Shadow of Honesty.” As each participant shared, the pervasiveness of the shadow became more and more apparent as did the fact that it is our shadows, the parts of ourselves that we dislike, disown and don’t want to be, that drive us to create a persona that covers up the traits and qualities that we don’t want to admit to ourselves or others exist inside of us.
Being on that call, I was reminded how Debbie used to say that “The shadow is the biggest trickster of them all.” Our shadows have the power to trick us into believing that who we are is unacceptable, unlovable, not good enough, or, in some form or fashion, just not okay! Our shadows are the catalyst for us to create facades, wear masks, and deny our most authentic self. Our shadows cause the negative internal dialogue that loops in our head and haunts us with messages like “You are not worthy enough, smart enough, responsible enough…” It is the strong and persistent voice of our shadow that tricks us into believing that these eerie messages are the truth. It tricks us into believing that to avoid feeling pain, shame, or embarrassment, we should play small, stay hidden, not try, and deny the greatness that is inside of us. As Debbie writes in The Shadow Effect,
“The shadow can trick us into believing that we are too unworthy, incapable, undeserving, unlovable, or stupid to be the superstar of our own life.”
It is also the shadow that tricks us into believing that if we can fix ourselves and just lose the ten or twenty pounds, earn a bigger paycheck, or find the soulmate, then we will be “fine.” But how often have you actually attained that short-term goal and still felt like something was missing? More often than not, the negative internal dialogue doesn’t subside and neither does your tendency to self-sabotage. And before you know it, you find yourself right back where you started — or in an even worse position. That is because until we bring light to our shadows, we cannot make peace with them and unconceal the gifts they are meant to deliver!
After 12 years of dedicating my life to learning about the shadow, doing shadow work, and watching thousands of people do the same, I can tell you without question that shadow work has given me the most awesome treats that I could imagine in life. By confronting the “skeletons in my closets,” I have been able to accept and gain insights and wisdom from my past experiences. By looking at my shadows and learning to love the “scary” parts of myself, I have gained deeper levels of self-acceptance. I feel whole and complete and have access to the totality of all the yummy traits that live inside of me. By identifying the terrifying tales that live inside my head, I have been able to separate fact from fiction and free myself from the ghost stories that haunted me and kept me stuck.
Although she was candid in describing the shadow as a trickster, Debbie was also very much an advocate for speaking out about the great treats it delivers.
“Becoming intimate with your shadow is one of the most fascinating and fruitful and inquiries you can ever embark upon. It is a mysterious journey that will lead you to find your most authentic self – a place where you feel at home with who you are, where you recognize your weaknesses and your strengths, where you can bask in your gifts, admit to your imperfections, and admire (and live in) your greatness!”
So as others are preparing their costumes and deciding which mask they will be wearing this Halloween, I want to invite you to take off your mask and join us for the greatest Halloween party ever. Join us in the exploration of shadow work!
Transformational Action Steps: Time for Trick or Treat!
- Tune into the negative internal dialogue that loops inside your head.
- Answer these questions:
- What are the five qualities you beat yourself up for possessing or want to deny possessing at all? Examples of characteristics are stupid, lazy, irresponsible, dishonest, fake, etc.
- What are the masks you wear to hide these qualities and characteristics from the rest of the world and even yourself?
- What are the treats that these qualities and characteristics could actually bring to you and others? How could they serve or benefit you?
- Immerse yourself in shadow work. Attend The Shadow Process, a workshop that will literally change your life! Our next Shadow Process Workshop is being held December 5th to December 7th in Los Angeles. Learn more and register here: http://www.thefordinstitute.
com/shadowprocess
