If I Only Knew Then What I Know Now
In my private coaching practice as well as in our workshops and trainings, I am always curious to see shifts in trends of people attracted to our work. Over the last few years, we have seen a huge increase in men being attracted to our work. Whereas in the past there were a few token men, now the split is closer to 40 percent male, 60 percent female. Most recently, it has been incredible to see the emergence of “young adults” aged 18 to 30 attending our programs and hiring coaches. Although it is so exciting for me to see these young thought leaders of the future start working on themselves at such an early age, I could not help but be moved and somewhat horrified by what is motivating them to seek this support…Anxiety!
Curious to understand how this reflects what is going on in the world, I decided to do a little research…
People aged 18 to 30 are actually known as “Generation Y.” They are also known as the “Anxious Generation.” There are different theories about what triggered this anxiety-ridden trend. Some say it is the financial climate and the economic challenges their families and they themselves have faced that has created this kind of stress. Others say it is the advent of social media and being able to constantly see what their peers are doing that causes them to compare and critique themselves and their “progress” in life. But no matter the cause, we are hearing story after story of a generation that has an intense desire to achieve – and to achieve really big at an early age like Mark Zuckerberg’s creation of Facebook at 20 years old.
With this quest for immense achievement come intense thoughts, fears, and pressure. There is the need to be perfect, the fear of failure, the concerns of being liked, and the constant beating themselves up for not being good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, thin enough, or charismatic enough. Although so incredibly bright and talented to anyone else who might interact with them, Generation Y has no clue who they are. Instead they have some skewed idea of who they should be and this image keeps them low in confidence and high in overwhelm.
But the good news is that there is a solution…There is a way out!
And that way out is shadow work!
Shadow work supports us in identifying and embracing all of who we are. It enables us to see the gifts of every quality, emotion, and experience so that we can integrate them instead of using them to beat ourselves up. By shifting the way we view ourselves and the world, shadow work assists us in surrendering the non-serving, limiting and disempowering thoughts, beliefs, or righteous positions that are the root of our anxiety.
As someone who has had the thought, “I wish I knew then what I know now,” I think it is amazing that Generation Y is learning concepts, tools, and techniques to help them make peace and shift the non-serving voices in their heads. It is an honor to watch the glow that appears on their faces and the smile on their lips as their concept of self transforms and they get a glimpse of how incredible they truly are.
And just like we see in our work, it does not matter whether you are 17 or 70, by learning shadow work a new reality can emerge in your life. You can release yourself from your cage of panic, overwhelm, and anxiety and learn to shift moments of despair to moments of delight. You can learn to quiet the voices in your head that cause tension, stress, and paralysis, and dissolve anything that stands between you and the next great expression of yourself.
The fact is…it is never too late to learn what you wished you knew then!
Transformational Action Steps
(1) Make a list of the situations and circumstances that cause you anxiety.
(2) Working with one of these issues at a time, journal the answers to these questions:
– What is your greatest fear around that issue?
– What would you do if your greatest fear was realized? How would you survive? How would you handle it?
– What do you need to affirm or what thought do you need to let go of in order to release the anxiety you are having around that issue?
– What is an action step you can take that will support you in letting go of the anxiety?
– What is an action step you can take to move forward with the issue that is causing you anxiety?
(3) Take your action steps.
(4) Join us at The Shadow Process either September 18th to September 20th in Miami or November 13th to November 15th in Los Angeles.
