The Truth Shall Set You Free
We all have secrets. We all have things we don’t want others to know about us whether it’s that we were sexually abused as a child, promiscuous in high school, fired from our first job, or that we believe we are a failure, unworthy, or unlovable underneath the persona we’ve created. We don’t just keep secrets from other people we even have things we don’t want to know about ourselves.
The problem is that our secrets make us sick. Why? Because underneath our secrets is shame. Or said differently, it is the feeling of shame or being ashamed of ourselves that consciously or unconsciously compels us to keep something secret, to not let others see or know who we are, to create a mask, or to fly under the radar. Shame is the root of low self-esteem. It impedes intimacy and diminishes our ability to have connected relationships. It is a toxic emotion, which can even lead to increased stress and disease. Debbie Ford always said, “Shame is the most painful emotion that we can feel.” She called it the “tyrannical manager,” since it keeps us from being authentic and self-expressed. Shame leads us to play small, settle for mediocrity, and live a lie.
While all of us have shame and secrets, recently a number of high-profile lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender individuals like Ellen Page, Michael Sam, Anna Paquin, and Laverne Cox have been bringing this conversation about shame and secrets out into the open. When actress Ellen Page came out at the Time To Thrive Conference, she talked about how painful it was to not be able to tell the truth about who she is and the struggle she had loving and accepting herself. She said:
“I am tired of hiding and lying by omission. I suffered for years because I was scared to be out. My spirit suffered, my mental health suffered, and my relationships suffered. I am standing here today with all of you on the other side of the pain…What I have learned is that love, the beauty of it, the joy of it and yes, even the pain of it, is the most incredible gift to give and receive and as a human being we deserve to experience it fully, completely, equally, without shame and without compromise.”
We all know the saying “the truth shall set you free!” So it only follows that the most potent antidote for diminishing toxic shame is to be able to share our secrets with another.
To support members of the LGBTQ+ community in sharing their secrets and healing their feelings of shame and self-loathing, The Ford Institute and some of our lesbian, gay, and bisexual Integrative Coaches have organized our first Shadow Process Pride Edition. This life-changing workshop provides a safe space to speak openly, to connect authentically and to discover the deeper truth of who you are. As Michael Sam, the openly gay NFL player said when he received the ESPY’s Arthur Ashe Award for Courage, “Great things can happen when you have the courage to be yourself.” We know that great things will happen when we bring this profound process to a community committed to healing their wounds and creating more self-acceptance, love, equality, and global change.
If you or anyone you know from this community wants to live a happier, more self-expressed, and freer life, we invite you to come to this unique live event. And tell your friends and loved ones about this evolutionary workshop opportunity. It is time for all of us, no matter our sexuality, to feel the exhilaration of emotional liberation!
Transformational Action Steps
1. It’s time to tell a secret. Find someone you trust completely and share something personal that you have not told anyone. Make sure you create boundaries before you do so. Ask them to keep your confidence before you share it! Give yourself the opportunity for deep connection and the support of another. What you have in store for you is the freedom that comes from not being scared of people finding out who you are, what you are, who you’ve been in the past, and the things you’ve done. Amazing new possibilities will open up for you out of this exercise in courage and self-love. Go for it with your whole heart!
2. Help us make The Shadow Process Pride Edition a huge success. If you are a member of the LGBTQ+ community, come join us! If you are not, spread the word! The workshop is being held September 12th to September 14th in the Washington, DC area. Use the promo code NEWSLETTER to get $200 off the full registration price. For more information and to register, go to http://www.thefordinstitute.com/pride
3. To find out about other Shadow Process Workshops, go to http://www.thefordinstitute.com/shadowprocess
With love,
Kelley
