The Greatest Gift
This past weekend my oldest daughter who lives in New York City came home for a visit. Stuck at a standstill in traffic for two and a half hours, we decided to use Debbie Ford’s Right Question, “Are you looking for what’s right or are you looking for what’s wrong?” to shift the energy of the situation from frustration to fun and have quality mother-daughter bonding time. As my daughter shared with me how happy and full her life in New York City is now, I was reminded of the time about a year and a half ago when she was at her “lowest point ever.”
Back then, my daughter had lived in New York City for three months and was miserable with her apartment, her roommates, and her job. Although she was never one to show emotions, I remember her crawling into my bed and bursting into tears when she came home for Thanksgiving. She felt defeated. She had never felt so low about herself and her abilities. I knew that this was an issue that needed to be addressed from the inside out. Even though I reassured her I would support her in whatever changes she needed to make, in that moment it wasn’t about a new apartment or job. There was no quick fix in the outer world that would truly make her feel better about herself. Lucky for me (and for her), there was a Shadow Process Workshop scheduled a few weeks later which her two sisters had already planned to attend. Originally when I had asked my oldest daughter to come, she rejected the concept because she didn’t think she’d be comfortable with sharing her feelings, looking at her past, and being “vulnerable.” (Or so she thought.) However, in that moment in my bed, not being able to see another way out of misery, hopelessness and resignation, she decided to trust her mommy and come to the Shadow Process weekend. Within months of The Shadow Process, my daughter moved out of her apartment and found a new apartment and roommate she loves, found a new job and makes double the salary, and met a fabulous man and is in love!
As a mother, one of the most challenging lessons I’ve had to learn is the process of surrender when it comes to my children. As much as my instinct is to be a “good mother” and try to protect and probably control my children’s journey, I have come to realize that just as there is a divine design and plan to my life, the same is true for my children. Every experience they are having is part of their evolutionary development. Yet even though I cannot control their evolutionary process, which sometimes feels more like growing pains, as a mother I can offer them tools, resources and opportunities to support them in deepening their awareness, feelings of confidence, self-acceptance. and love and in living their best and most fulfilling lives.
I can honestly say that one of the greatest gifts I have given my daughters is the experience of The Shadow Process and introducing them to the work of Debbie Ford and The Ford Institute. When I watched my daughters go from tears to laughter, from heartache to heart-openings, and from fear to faith, when I witnessed them embrace the parts of themselves and their pasts that they felt shame about, and when I saw them discover their magnificence and brilliance, The Shadow Process in November, 2012 became one of the most profound, humbling, and exciting weekends of my life. And it wasn’t the first time.
Over ten years ago, I walked in to my first Shadow Process. Like my oldest daughter, I was at a point in my life when I felt trapped, like there was no way out, and totally dead inside. The Shadow Process gave me back the parts of myself that I had thought I had lost and the courage to let go of what was not working in my life anymore. I am so grateful that my daughters got to experience and learn in their early twenties what I did not learn until I was in my forties.
When Debbie Ford appeared on Super Soul Sunday with Oprah Winfrey, she said, “If I could, I would take the whole world through The Shadow Process.” On behalf of myself and my three daughters, I must say, I wholeheartedly agree!
Transformational Action Steps
1. Please join us for the next Shadow Process from April 4th to April 6th in the San Francisco Bay Area by clicking here. Use the special coupon code NEWSLETTER to get $200 off the full registration price (not to be combined with other offers). The Shadow Process will mark a new beginning at the deepest levels, and I can’t wait to share it with you.
2. Look around your life and identify people you love who you want to support in experiencing new levels of joy, ease, and love and invite them to come with you!
With love,
Kelley
