Life Is About Letting Go!
We’ve all heard the saying “Life is about letting go!” We’ve all experienced moments when we let go of something whether it was because we were “forced to,” chose to, or somehow acquiesced. Whether it’s a relationship, material possessions, career opportunities, social engagements, a “fabulous” idea we had, the way in which we identified or defined ourselves, or even our greatest fantasy or biggest dream, we have learned to move on. Eventually, with time and perspective, most of us have come to realize that even though letting go might have felt difficult at the time, it was for our greater good. Alexander Graham Bell said, “When one door closes another one opens.” When we are once again faced with a situation that calls for letting go, and we know that, why does it still feel so hard?
I can tell you that for me, the foe that keeps me in resistance is my attachment. It is my attachment to how I think things should be, look like, or happen that creates the pain that makes it harder for me to let go. It is my attachment to wanting things to happen in my way and on my timetable that keeps me myopically wanting to muscle through situations. Yet as Debbie Ford wrote, “As long as we are attached, we are slaves, nothing but prisoners of our desires and hostages to what we’ve deemed important. We are handcuffed to everything we’re attached to, dragging our desires and dislikes with us wherever we go.”
This past week as I observed my own attachment to a situation dig in its heels, I found it fascinating to witness the internal tug-of war going on inside of me. Even though I knew in my heart that letting go was in my highest and will be for the greater good, I could feel my wounded ego fighting to hold on to the picture I had in my mind of how the situation should be and unfold. I could hear the dialogue of my resistance and wounded ego telling me to “Do it your way,” “Hold on to control,” or “Just give up and quit!” My wounded ego was literally waging war with my higher self, the part of me that knows to trust and have faith in the Universe. As this internal tug-of-war went on inside of me, I could actually feel the cells in my body revolting. They were being called on to rearrange themselves, to align themselves with the shift that was wanting to be birthed, yet they wanted to stay firmly implanted in my old and outdated ways of thinking. Ultimately, my wounded ego and the part of me that is attached pushed me to my next level of faith, and propelled me into a place of greater trust and surrender.
Surrender, the antidote to attachment, is a gift you give yourself. It is your declaration that you are willing to resign from being the general manager of the universe and trust in the flow of life. The truth is that there are miracles dancing around you in every moment and you have no idea where the universe is trying to guide you. When we learn to let go, we are affirming that we trust life. It is then that life will deliver us the greatest treasures and catapult us into possibilities that we never thought possible.
I can only tell you that for me, once I surrendered, stepped into that place of faith, and allowed myself to align with the change that was meant to happen, the universe almost instantaneously affirmed that this was the path I was meant to be on. Within 24 hours of opening up to a new way of thinking, an amazing opportunity opened up for me!
So the next time you feel that pull of attachment and internal tug-of war between the way you think things should be and a potential shift in circumstances, remember the words of the the great Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu:
“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.”
Transformational Action Steps
1. Make a list of circumstances that you are resisting because these situations are not happening as you think they should. These are situations where you are attached to things looking, happening, and being a certain way.
2. Allow yourself to hear your voice of attachment, the voice of your wounded ego that wants to hang on to your perfect picture of the situation and to control the outcome.
3. Now tune into your voice of faith. What does your voice of faith say about the situation exactly as it is unfolding? What does your voice of faith say might be possible if you trust the situation as it is?
4. Ask your voice of faith to give you a phrase or mantra that you can say to yourself whenever you feel that internal tug-of-war between your wounded ego and your higher self.
