The Power of Love
Last weekend I again had the great honor of the leading The Shadow Process Workshop. I know that I have said it before, but I am always in awe of what is possible and the transformation that can happen in just two and a half short days! I am also continually amazed that each time I lead the process a different aspect or teaching sticks out for me and becomes my next big “aha!” At this past Shadow Process it was “the power of love” that totally cracked my heart open.
I know that if you are reading this newsletter, chances are you have “done a lot of work on yourself.” You, like I, have read all the books, attended the workshops, and probably spent miles walking in nature, running on a treadmill, or driving in your car listening to transformational audiobooks. I am sure that through these avenues you received many great insights, yet often these pearls of wisdom get lost in the moment or forgotten among the thousands of other thoughts traversing through our consciousness at any given time. The genius of what Debbie Ford created with The Shadow Process is that she came up with a process that talks to your mind so that you feel safe enough to connect with your heart, since transformation happens in your heart, not your head. I never saw it as clearly as I did this past weekend. The Shadow Process is an experiential process all about feeling your full array of feelings.
Debbie used to explain that all our feelings and emotions live inside one box. When we close the lid on the so-called “negative” feelings, whether we realize it or not, we also close the lid on the so-called “positive” ones. At each Shadow Process, I watch people walk into the room on Friday numb, shut down, disconnected, or totally scared to death to feel their feelings. It was amazing to really bear witness to the correlation between the limited access that these people had to both their “positive” feelings as well as the “negative” ones. It was evident that:
- When you can’t be with your disappointment, you can’t access your joy.
- When you try to deny your sadness, you also cap your excitement.
- When you reject your feelings of craziness, you will never feel at peace.
- When you can’t be with your anger, you will never truly open your heart to love!
One of the tenets of our work is that “you need to feel it in order to heal it!” In The Shadow Process, all of you is welcome. All of your feelings, all of the different parts of yourself, and all of your past experiences are welcomed and embraced with love. An atmosphere of total safety and community is established in the room within hours and it is remarkable to watch people open up and share things that “they have never told anyone,” access emotions they had suppressed and not felt for 10, 20, 30, or even 40 years, and admit to having parts of themselves that they had tried to mask.
Ultimately The Shadow Process is a demonstration of what happens when you go into something instead of running away from it. Like firemen run into burning fire with water, we shower the room with the vibration of love. That is what lays the foundation for miracles to take place. As Debbie so beautifully wrote in her book Courage:
“At the end of our journey, we come back to love. Ultimately, when we love all parts of ourselves, when we bless all of ourselves, when we honor all of our history and all of our insecurities, doubts, worries, and fears, we become the men and women that we always wanted to be. The greatest act of courage is to bring love where there is none.”
As we enter the time of year that is known as a “season for miracles,” I feel grateful to have witnessed and been reminded of The Power of Love and that magic and transformation can happen in every moment…especially when you bring love to a place that there was none! As an ancient adage quoted by Dr. Wayne Dyer in the Foreword to Courage says, “Fear knocked at the door, love answered, and no one was there.”
We wish you miracles, blessings, and lots of yummy love this holiday season!
Transformational Action Steps
1. Make a list of the feelings you deem as “negative,” suppress, or are uncomfortable with.
2. Pick the one from the list that you are most reluctant to feel.
3. Journal about what would be possible if you embraced that feeling. What would you have more of? What other feelings would you have access to? What would be possible if you no longer had to deny that you feel that emotion?
4. Identify an action to help you integrate the wisdom you have uncovered and appropriately express that emotion. Then take that action.
5. Join us for our next Shadow Process Workshop in April.
6. To dramatically change your life starting January 13th please consider our global virtual program Radical Reinvention.
7. For the ultimate experience, the best way to share the power of love with the world is to become one of our coaches with the Breakthrough Shadow Coaching Training Program.
